With the arrival of the second child in the first grade, the homework theme came into my mind again.
Now, I don’t mean | whether or not to take homework or not to do it. I mean, if I accept my child’s homework, whose responsibility is that? Should a parent care for it?
So is it that the homework is elaborated and at what quality, the responsibility of the parent? Or is it the child’s own responsibility? Is it possible for a child to take this responsibility alone in first grade? So let’s look at the subject.
We have a very skilled first-class teacher. they leave children responsible for homework . It does not make drama out of it when the task is forgotten, not compared, does not overtake, but at the same time the fact that it is necessary to have a task, works and tries to encourage the children to remember it next time and learn how to memorize / write it down . I intentionally use the word to let it go, I’ll explain it right away. From the moment they are born, children have and should have a responsibility for their own lives and their own future. (As much as possible. But I write a lot about it in other blog articles). I am their guide, helper, mentor, comforting arms. I am and will be whatever they need to bear their own responsibility. School attendance (and I may not like it in any way) is their duty in this system. Likewise, what the school requires from them is their duty. And thus their responsibility. Therefore, I do not write “pass responsibility” but leave responsibility. She never was anyone else.
My child’s homework has never been my responsibility, so I can’t give it to them. My responsibility for being a Mom is to help them. Always and under all circumstances. But only as far as they need . Again deliberately chosen and fattened word. I’ll get back to him yet.
Practically it means I’m not trying to think | about whether they have a task. Only by remembering this, can I ask a child to know if they have or not. If he says no, I no longer search. If he says yes, but he can’t remember, I can help him go through the work they did, read it in the assignment book if there is anything. I can help him solve it. I can call him a friend or go with him if the child had the need for such intense research. And the principle that a child wants to socialize usually has a need to do it. But I do not stress, nor do I primarily put my back on my back. I’m not turning the world upside down to find out what a child has to do, while the child watches the fairy tale. I help him to take care of himself, nothing more. If he says he doesn’t or says he’s already done, I’ll just say “Okay, fine.” By addressing the teacher in peace, if the task is not, the child is not afraid of her reaction, I can afford the comfort of letting the mistake fall to where it belongs, the child.
Now back to the second word of speech. So help with what they need . I’ll be happy to help them with everything they can’t handle and ask for. No more. That would mean that I would take their own responsibility for them. And when such a removal takes place a short crisis in the sense of “I’m not able to do it”, but ultimately surrenders responsibility. Result? The parent will be responsible for the little man’s tasks. A little person does not learn how to build this responsibility, he primarily stores the formula “I am unable to bear my own responsibility” or “I am unable to handle it”. And the parent? Again he pushes the rock up the hill. And it will suppress it for a long time. We are in first grade and kids have 1 task a day and no learning and training. If a little person exposes these patterns, if he starts to behave like a school is his parents’ interest and not his, it will increase the responsibility for parents and he will still have it on the hook. The later, the worse the pattern changes. I do not even have to argue about the impact of the formula “I do not have my own responsibility” on life later on, an adult and working man.
So now I have theorized … and wondering how it is in practice? If it really works? Well, judge.
The first grade child works like this: He comes from school, puts his bag. Without anyone saying anything, he usually takes out the task and does it. Unless he’s already made a party. He even surprised himself, even after the ring we go straight from school and returning in the evening, he remembered himself. I ask the question once a week, really, when I remember. Except once, he always said he was done. And once he jumped up, he said, “Well, actually,” and went to do it without delay. He recently came to me and went to tell me he sometimes forgets the task. I asked him what he was doing. And he says it to the assistant or the teacher and finishes it the next day. He didn’t even need to tell me that he had forgotten him. He just solved it in peace.
Now you’re sure you have an extraordinary baby | and I’m just bragging about it. It’s not so. I only have a child who carries his own responsibility. (And it’s true that she’s used to it since she was a kid, as I write in the book Happy Child, Satisfied Parent)
As a parent, I see all the benefits | of it. In addition to contributing to his own life, I do not have to push the stone carriage up the hill. 1945